The Healing Powers of Self-Kindness
by BlackLion
One of the most neglected ways we fail to take care of ourselves in our Western culture is self-kindness. Systemically, we work more, stress out more and worry more all the time. Rarely do we take the time to nurture ourselves or love ourselves for who we are.
So what are some simple and profound ways we can take care of ourselves through kindness?
Give Yourself a Break. Taking a break from constant self-help is a kind way of letting yourself be who you are in the present moment. There is no right or wrong way to be in this moment. You are simply who you are right now as the culmination of all the decisions, thoughts, and feelings you have made throughout your life. It just means you are who you are, right here and now.
Let Go of the Past. Of course we all learn from our past mistakes and triumphs. Our decisions now are guided by what has transpired. But that doesn’t mean we can’t look at the world with fresh eyes. We are not the same person we were 5 years ago, a year ago, a month ago, or even in the last hour. And frankly, neither is the rest of the universe the same. If we assume it is the same, and judge ourselves and our circumstances by old standards, we are probably being unkind to ourselves.
Do Something Fun. You know what feels really good, right? Something that gets your heart-rate pumping, your joy-o-meter rising and your smile a-beaming. Joy is a form of kindness where you are living in the moment, enjoying what you are doing and letting life be awesome. Because, after all, what is the point of living if you aren’t enjoying the ride?
Allow Another to Be Kind to You. Often we are good at giving, but we don’t let ourselves receive. Let someone hold the door for you. Let someone buy your lunch. Let another be supportive. Let someone into your heart and allow them to nurture you. Without your say so, no one can help you (or hinder you). By allowing the universe to give you what you need right when you need it – being open, aware and ready – you are letting the kindness shine in.
Forgive Yourself. The greatest relief you can find is letting yourself off the hook. No matter whether you screwed up royally or missed an appointment or were late for a meeting, just forgive yourself. And with this one simple kind act, you’ll feel a palpable relief that will relax your tense shoulders and ease your worried mind. Forgiveness, especially with yourself, is an elixir to heal your soul.
For more on kindness, you can join our upcoming event, Cultivating Self-Love – a live online workshop that helps you transform self-sabotage into self-confidence.
it is so very hard to let anyone do for me in any way. I think it is because i was the one to care for others for so long and do for others i did not know but became friends with till they past.Now that I am retired and on a fixed income, makes it harder to reciprocate if someone does try to do for me, so ask them not to or I don’t except. I feel better if I do not receive because(It brings me down), but I really feel on top of the world when I can give, almost like a manic high!! This is my make-up(DNA) it seems that I cannot change. Some times not a good thing but it is me.
When I think of kindness BP, I think of it as something coming from me and not necessarily as a response to something someone else did. So it allows me to accept others’ acts of kindness freely as well as let myself off the hook if i do receive blessings from another. Plus it feels good to feel good, and kindness feels good whenever I practice it. :) Blessings!