11/16/16 8:56pm

Self-Care Isn’t Selfish

Beach GoddessSelf-Care Isn’t Selfish
by Starcat

You probably see a lot of female thought-leaders on their blogs and Facebook posts proclaiming that good self-care is non-negotiable. Actually, I agree with them. However, I think there’s a big disconnect between those of us writing about self-care and the reality of the daily lives of the readers.

So many women who read these articles are suffering from not taking time to care for themselves.

How about you? See if this sounds familiar: grabbing a moment to read an article about why self-care is important actually is your self-care for the week. You always have too much to do. At the end of the day you collapse into bed, knowing that it starts all over again in just a few short hours. Self-care? Yeah, right.

You’re too busy. You have a job or career, a partner, kids or parents who need your attention and care, a household to run, community events to participate in, bills to pay. The list goes on – just like your endless to-do list. Beyond getting in a hot shower and maybe a workout, when do you really have time for the exquisite pastel self-care that you see in the Instagram posts?

Aside from the time constraints, we women often have a mindset that doesn’t allow for taking pleasure in self-care. We’ve been taught by our culture that our main purpose in life is to serve others. It’s just what we do. We take care of people, we are in charge of our homes and keeping them running smoothly, we seek to please those around us.

Our need to be seen as capable at tending to our lives is strong. We always want to look like we have our shit together, even when we don’t. When we take time for ourselves, we feel guilty. We worry that we’re not being true to our kids or our partner or our boss. It makes us feel icky and selfish and worried that people are watching us and thinking that very thing. We feel so unworthy of this gift of time and attention.

This is a terrible way to live. I mean, perhaps it’s a first-world problem. If we have food to eat and a roof over our heads, we should be grateful, right?

And yet there is that yearning for more – can you feel it? You long for a grander purpose, feeling that deep connection to the wellspring of love and creativity that you sense at the center of things.

Of course you have moments of deep meaning, sprinkled throughout a lifetime. A declaration of love, the birth of a child, that moment at the seaside, looking up at the starry sky. These moments seem rare and precious. Yet your heart calls you back toward fuller presence, over and over. Your heart wants more – and if you don’t listen, things tend to fall apart.

Self-care means listening to that quiet voice that wants to you to just stop.

Stop moving, just for a moment. Let go of thinking about what’s next on your list. Stop worrying about proving your worth, checking all the boxes, being the perfect mom or employee or partner. Cease and desist, and just listen within. What do you really need, on a profound level? Listen to your intuition, and then follow its yearnings.

This is self-care.

Caring for yourself is not a selfish act. You, too, need to be cared for – and not by some Prince Charming or Fairy Godmother. By you. For you. And for everyone whose life you touch.

Self-care gets you in touch with the Divine source at your very center. It’s not selfish, because the Divine is part of all of us. This deep wisdom is what powers the entire cosmos. Vast cosmic love is where we came from.

Tuning in to these feelings of love and belonging is what self-care is all about.

Now make it a practice. Set aside regular time – yes, time, your most precious resource – to listen to and follow your innermost desires.

If you don’t, things will sooner or later spin out of control. This is because your conscious ego self was never in control to begin with. Working with your inner wisdom makes life less of a struggle and more of a flow.

That’s why those of use who have already created time for regular self-care are crowing about it from the rafters. Not to make you feel bad for what you don’t yet have, but to coax you to tune in deep and feel better, and to enable you to tend to your deepest desires. To encourage you to use your passions in service to yourself, your loved ones, your community, and the entire Universe.

The world needs you, in your fullest presence and deepest connection. We need you, sister, to release your resistance and guilt and find time to just be. To listen and act on what you hear and recharge your sacred energies. Not just once, but on a regular basis. Please, heed the call.

11/11/16 8:00am

The Feminine Divine Awakens: A Call to Action

orby-statueThe Feminine Divine Awakens: A Call to Action
by Starcat

I have a confession. On Tuesday morning, I wrote a very different post to share with you. I was confident that we were on the way to a historic milestone here in the United States: the election of our first woman President. I wrote about what a game-changer it was, and how (whether or not you like Secretary Clinton) we collectively stepped beyond our previous prejudices to elect a woman to this powerful and symbolic role.

But no. We’re not there yet.

This election was a game-changer, yes, but in a very different way. The hatred and fear that are part of the warped legacy of the patriarchy remain at the forefront of political discourse.

We have fallen short. We rejected the candidate who accepts and champions all types of diversity: gender, religion, race, sexual orientation, and cultural background. We’ve instead closed our eyes to the rampant racism, misogyny, and abuse of the male candidate, and (ironically) chosen more of the same. The patriarchy is clinging to the way things were, to blame and fear and anger and prejudice.

It’s tempting to give up. To rant and blame and rage and cry. There is a time for expressing our fear and disillusionment, for certain. Yet dwelling in hatred, blame, and despair just creates more of what we already know we don’t want.

We can’t let fear win out over love.

What does this mean for you on your personal spiritual journey? It’s even more vital than ever to hold to your deepest truths. As you embrace the qualities of the Feminine Divine, you encourage the world in that direction. These qualities – compassion, holistic health, intuition, creative expansion, communion with Nature, respect for diversity, spiritual connection, and collaboration – are vital to the awakening of human consciousness. The more energy and attention you devote to them, the better.

You can help by turning the focus of your attention to projects, causes, and callings that evoke these qualities in your life. We are so accustomed to “fighting back” and “standing up” for our rights. What if, instead, you sat down, centered yourself in your deepest values, and took inspired action from there?

It’s time to quit reacting and lamenting and criticizing. Now is the time to call upon your power-from-within and light up, like a beacon, from the inside. It’s time to walk your talk, and live according to what’s most meaningful to you.

No excuses. No regrets.

As more and more of us step into empowerment and collaborate on uplifting projects, momentum grows. The world sees the power, wisdom, and inner beauty that we bring to each moment. More and more of our sisters and brothers are inspired to follow their callings and embrace their soul’s shining light.

Let’s step forward and embrace the qualities of the Goddess as superpowers for cultural change and spiritual awakening. You’re not alone. Together, we can do this sacred work to heal ourselves and our planet.

10/12/16 8:00am

Seasons of the Spiral

Autumn FireworksSeasons of the Spiral
by BlackLion

Every year about this time, especially toward Samhain (aka Halloween), you may sense a shift of seasonal energies, from the outward-expressing self of spring and summer toward the inward-communing self of autumn and winter. Though you may not usually consider seasonal effects, your body, mind, and spirit sure do.

Last year at this time, you may have had different challenges, triumphs, and people in your life (or then again, maybe not). Yet, you are a season stronger, a season wiser, and a season more self-aware, even if just a little. You know more of what you do want and certainly know more of what you do not want, and you may have finally let go of that worn-out thought-trap.

The spiral is essentially a cyclical process, yet the starting place is definitely different then the ending place of the cycle. Sure, there will be components which you’ll still want in your life: your family, friends (maybe not so much of that one particular person), house, car, work (except the commute!), etc. Or perhaps you are ready to end a pattern of unfulfilling experiences, like no longer visiting your nagging Uncle Hank, or you’re ready to move on to greener pastures and start afresh.

Yet the essential you is new too. Every hardship and comeback is a cornucopia of gained wisdom and expansion for your inner source; a reason to celebrate! You may have experienced a new awakening or another wake-up call wallbanger gentle nudge to get you back on your golden path. The spiral continues to travel in the direction of your intention. Swirling into what you are wanting is way better then flying out of control towards what you are sure you do not.

Luckily, as the wheel (or cone?) of time continues, you’ll have yet another chance to let go of the past weights and rise up into the ride of your life. Sure, there will be turbulence, and maybe a wipe-out or two. Yet when you choose to travel toward your upward spiral and your best life, the ride will get better. You’ll find smoother sailing, full of more ease and relief.

Allow your inner guidance a voice in your daily life. Not only is it essential to travel upward on your spiral, it is also vital to spiral inward as well. As the nights grow longer (here in the north), you’ll find more and more solace in keeping your own counsel and allow your ancient divine wisdom to emerge. As you stay aligned with your deepest self, you’ll find even more heart-thriving adventures in your experience.

Abundance comes from within you and is a conduit that bridges people together in mutual bounty. Allowing your natural season of harvest is a perfect analogy for your upcoming cycle. Be ready to accept your highest blessings and you’ll soon be surrounded with inspiring people, gorgeous places and enriching circumstances that continuously grace your existence. Open your heart and encourage your best self as you get better and better at dancing with the universe.

Up, up and away!