Redefining Selfish
by BlackLion

To be selfish, in its current connotation, is to be greedy, to take things from other people for yourself, or to ignore the needs of others completely. Yet, where does the idea of nurturing yourself, taking care of your needs, and doing things for yourself come in to play? Mainly, it is a matter of power.

In the first definition, it is a power-over situation based on the idea of lack and fear. Basically, thoughts like “if I don’t take it, I won’t get it” or “better get it while I can,” etc. Whereas the second definition is a matter of power-from-within, based on self-love. Thoughts like, “I really enjoy doing this” or “I choose to be happy,” etc.

Redefining selfishness involves choosing to do things based on the notion of abundance, love, health, joy, and charity. Though you can be selfish and do things that feel positive to you, you can also give and feel good while still being selfish. Instead of donating money or time because you think other people are in need, which is not really coming from a generous mindset, instead give because it feels good to do so. If it doesn’t feel good to you, don’t do it.

Make your emotional well-being a priority in your life. Do things that feel good, that contribute to the way you want the world to be. If you feel any resistance or trepidation, stop whatever it is you are thinking or doing and find a place of self-love. What would feel best in this moment from the place you are now?

A huge gap exists between being in fear or rage and trying to be loving and kind. Take incremental steps and allow your emotions to gradually go to a better-feeling place. Once you are there, make decisions for yourself and your well-being rather than in a place of feeling lack. Once you are in that place, selfishness is a positive uplifting experience rather than a negative, resentful experience.

As with any new idea, it will take practice to achieve. Forgive yourself for past feelings and start from where you are. As you come to understand selfishness as a joyous way of being, you can better share yourself with others and help uplift them as well. Take the time to learn what your most important desires are and follow through with these discoveries. Only you can make you happy, so enjoy the process of expansion as you become more and more selfish, full of self-love.