BlackLion and I went out for a walk on a recent spring day. He’d been off visiting a friend for a couple of days, and we were catching each other up on how things were going and what was bringing us joy.
I started off my check-in with “I’m feeling really good. I mean, I don’t want to jinx it, but I feel like I’ve reached a whole new level of awareness lately.”
We both froze, realizing at the same time what I’d just said.
Jinx it? Whoa. What?!
We started exploring that whole notion of NOT talking about your good fortune or positive news because in doing so you might “jinx” or somehow negate it.
Where does that even come from?
I’m not sure exactly where it originated, but it’s a notion that I think many of us are familiar with.
What are some of the reasons you might choose not to talk about the good things in your life?
- You don’t want to make anyone else feel bad because they’re not experiencing good fortune right now.
- You’ve been taught not to brag or to be too “full of yourself.”
- There might be some fear around becoming a target, perhaps that people would come and literally steal your stuff if you’re doing well.
- Or it could be the superstitious belief that somehow you will suddenly be punished by the universe for feeling that things are going well. That’s a big one.
Wherever it came from, the concept of keeping your joy to yourself is culturally ingrained in many of us. You’ve trained yourself (as most of us have) to talk about what’s not going right, to complain and vent and fuss. All of those things are valid at times – yet what about the other side of the coin?
You’ve taught yourself to keep your joyful tidings carefully under wraps, so they (and you) will feel safe.
But that whole idea is backwards.
By focusing on the things that bring you joy, the good fortune you’re having, you attract more of it into your life. When you hide your joy or put caveats around it, you’re putting up a wall. You’re saying (and thus choosing) that the amount of joyful energy you’re allowing in will be limited.
Ironically, you’re creating these walls so that you can keep the amount of joy you already have.
But you can’t just keep your joy locked up in a room in your heart. Joy thrives on freedom.
Joy and good fortune are part of the flow of abundance that this universe is made up of – this ebb and flow is part of the life you live. Refusing to fully embrace and share your joy is to put yourself in that locked room. It will keep you from fully experiencing these positive feelings, and will also shut off or limit the future flow of good fortune that is coming your way.
In my conversation with BlackLion, when I noticed what I was doing, I was able to begin again. I told him how inspired and connected I was feeling, and how I’d reached a new level of awareness. I elaborated on how that was affecting my creativity, my daily life, and my openness to new opportunities.
Once I dropped the fear that describing my joy would somehow negate it, it felt much better not only to share it with him, but to embrace it more fully.
By opening the doors and windows wide in that room in my heart, I’ve allowed even more joy and connection to flow in and out.
What joys are you experiencing in your life? Are you keeping them behind closed doors? How might you be willing to share about your good fortune?
Speak freely about your joy and the universe will find a way to deliver even more to you. Don’t worry, you can’t jinx it!